Untitled

animalstalkinginallcaps:

Mister Fluffins! Wait! Please!

NO.

Are you doing this because I put screencaps from popular TV shows on the internet 20 minutes after they air, completely ruining them for anyone who might have to work that night or that lives in a different time zone, robbing those people of the joy that I experience when watching the shows in some sort of pointless race to be the first to prove I saw them, despite how absolutely stupid that premise is and the fact that there’s no legitimate reward for my actions, only disdain?

YES. YOU HAVE RUINED BOARDWALK EMPIRE FOR THE LAST TIME.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

MOM, SERIOUSLY! STOP! I’VE GOT LIKE … FORTY POUNDS OF PRODUCT IN MY HAIR RIGHT NOW! IT’S A “MESSY LOOK” OKAY? THERE’S NOTHING TO FIX! I STYLE IT LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE TO AFFECT AN AIR OF UNCONCERNED NONCHALANCE AND EFFORTLESS COOL!

animalstalkinginallcaps:

HEY.

HI.

HOW WAS WORK?

DID YOU GET A BOYFRIEND?

YOU LOOK GREAT.

YOU REALLY DO.

HI.

WELCOME HOME.

NICE TO SEE YOU.

ANY HUNKY DUDES AT THE OLD WORKPLACE?

HOW’S THE WEATHER?

I SHIT IN THE CLOSET.

WANT TO GO ON THE INTERNET?

I LOVE THE INTERNET.

HOW WAS WORK?

I’M HUNGRY.

WE MISSED YOU.

I’M HUNGRY TOO.

YOU LOOK STUNNING.

ALL MATTER IS MERELY ENERGY CONDENSED TO A SLOW VIBRATION.

LET’S WATCH TV.

HOW WAS WORK?

my future.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

TAKE ANOTHER STEP, TOUGH GUY, AND I WILL PULL SOME SHIT THAT WOULD MAKE JASON STATHAM SHIT IN HIS PANTS.

YOU TOO, BUTTERCUP. JUST BACK OFF. YOU DON’T WANT TO TEST ME TODAY.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

AAAAAAAHHHHH! YOU SHOWED UP! I’M SO EXCITED!

JUST DROP YOUR GUANO ANYWHERE, THEN COME SEE THE KITCHEN!

LINDSAY’S BEEN MAKING THESE LITTLE BEETLE WRAPS SHE READ ABOUT ON SOME BLOG. I DON’T KNOW IF THEY’RE ANY GOOD BUT WE CAN FIND OUT TOGETHER. DINNER SHOULD BE READY IN A LITTLE BIT. DID YOU BRING WINE? IF NOT DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. WE HAVE TONS!

IT’S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!

animalstalkinginallcaps:

MARTHA WANTED ME TO COME BY AND TELL YOU THE BARBECUE IS CANCELED.

WE’RE REALLY SORRY. THE KIDS GOT SICK. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. THEY’RE LIKE LITTLE PLAGUE INCUBATORS.

SAME TIME NEXT WEEK, THOUGH, IF YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORK.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

AFTER YOU BECOME A LEVEL EIGHT RAW VEGAN YOU CAN ASK THE ELDERS FOR ACCESS TO THE ORIGINAL WHOLE FOODS. ONCE INSIDE YOU CAN ALIGN THE RUNESTONES AND SCALLIONS TO SUMMON THE TRANSFORMING SPIRITS OF ANCIENT LOCAVORES.

IT’S ALL PRETTY ADVANCED STUFF. YOU ARE QUITE NEW TO OUR WAYS. FOR NOW YOU SHOULD PROBABLY JUST CONCENTRATE ON BUYING FAIR-TRADE AND REDUCING YOUR GLUTEN INTAKE.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

DAMN IT, NATHAN! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST RESPECT MY PERSONAL BOUNDARIES? I HAVE A HARD TIME SHARING MY SPACE DUE TO SEMI-REPRESSED CHILDHOOD TRAUMA! I TOLD YOU THAT!  I TOLD YOU THAT SO MANY TIMES!

beccathehatter:

me when i watched the tampon video